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Welcome to issue #1 of Arianna's Insane Durarara!! Ramblings! This is what happens when I'm allowed to watch the series and just let out what I think without being limited. So that's why it's Insane. I had fun writing it though, so I hope you have fun reading it. Oh, and it should be noted that these thoughts happen with me having already watched the series twice before this. So there might be spoilers. Don't blame me if you learn something you didn't want to. Also, they're stream-of-consciousness, so it helps to be watching the episodes as you read, or to know them very, very well. Ubut there are screencaps aplenty. And I think to the characters a lot. I have a lot to say, so it'll only be one episode in a post. Episode One: First Words So Mikado, did anyone tell you that you should learn to make up your mind with what you want to say? You sound like a WOMAN right here. And yeah, I can make the sexist comments about women when I am one myself. It's awesome. Kida's creepin' on you like a professional! God, it would be so easy to kidnap Mikado—he's oblivious. And by the way, Kida, the same three choices do not actually count as three choices. They count as one. Deal with it, bro. Yes, that WAS an awful joke, but I don't want to hear that from YOU. Mikado, you've got as much sense of humor as my mother. Translation: you have no sense of humor. Well, Kida, that would explain why he wants to go with you, now wouldn't it? Mikado. If you were killed by the color gangs, it's possible my life would have improved drastically. (I don't mean that. I love Mikado. I just like to be mean to him.) So...the stuff Kida is saying right here, about the war with the color gangs...does it count as spoilers? That's right, you apologize to that sign. You know it's better than you. And Erika, we would get along SO MUCH. That's my BFF right there. We'll go hang out on Otome Road together. It'll be great. Can anyone explain to me what's weird about Mikado's name? I do not comprehend this. ...What? Must. Resist. Urge. For inappropriate comment. Kanra. Ohhhhhh Kanra. Great person, that Kanra-san. Situation with Rio, blah, blah, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU. Yes. This looks trustworthy. Mysterious rape van back here, definitely not a rape van, what are you talking about? Look out for Pedobear! Wait, that's not what I remember Pedobear looking like. IZAYA! (←See: Explosion of fangirl glee.) All right, back to Kida and Mikado. How about less talking and more making out to make up for the last few years? Oh wait, not supposed to let the yaoi fangirl out like that. Simon. I don't understand the existence of Simon. Like, he's not really involved in anything. But his manner of speaking cracks me up, so I'll accept him. Besides, there clearly can't be anything wrong with a random Russian dude. Shizu-chan! Flying vending machines ALWAYS signify the presence of Shizu-chan. That's Lesson Number One of living in Ikebukuro. No, no, don't stay away form Heiwajima Shizuo, go find him and let him—wait a second, there's the yaoi fangirl again. My bad. Random Pedobears...talking about being Pedobears...  And... Enter badass—no, wait. Just chatting. Whatever. Okay, here we go: ENTER BADASSERY! Enter Super-Badassery! YES I'm going to ignore your question you little teenage brat. Headless makes everything better and you know it. EPIC SUPER-BADASSERY! Other people Mikado should be wary of: clearly, the entire population of Ikebukuro.  And no, no, don't be wary of Izaya Orihara! This guy's legit! Totally 100% safe, no worries, it's all GOOD. (← See: A clear example of what is called 'lying'.) Hey, it's this chick! No, I'm not giving her a name right now. Deal with it. So I shouldn't eliminate all hopes of a giant Ikebukuro man org—NO. BAD YAOI FANGIRL. Celty: So bad-ass she gets SLOW-MO. Which no one else in this series is worthy of. I should not comment on this. It will not be appropriate. So I'll leave your imagination to wander with that line, about what I might have said.  I'll tell you! NO I WON'T. Bwahaha, information withheld.
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